Be warned, I’m not going to sugar coat anything in this post. If you’re a delicate flower and don’t like to hear authentic real shit, this might not be the post for you. This is also not a whiny post about life being hard and not being able to handle it. You can handle it, even when you think you can’t… I’m just going to remind you of how so it’s a bit easier.
Ok so here goes. Life sucks, or it can, and when it does, it seems like nothing is ever going to go right again, ever. Right?
When was the last time you had a throw your hands in the air and walk away kind of day? What did you do to deal with it? Did you beat yourself up over all you did wrong? Did you verbally take it out on your clients, your family, kids and dog? How did you deal, and then what happened after? This is what I’m trying to work through with you today. Think about it for a minute ok?
Before I get more deeply into coping when shit gets hard, let me share that I watched a Facebook live video today from a coach that said “you can’t change the cards you were dealt, but you can change how you play those cards and still win”. That resonated with me and is part of inspiration for today’s post.
I also want to share that those amazing and inspirational people you see on FB and Instagram who look like they’re living “THE LIFE”, have the same struggles as you do, just on a different scale. Millionaires and ultra successful people still have problems, their lives still have sucky, shitty moments, it’s how they handle them that is important. Don’t think for a single second that their lives are perfect.
They just have a different set of problems. That’s all. The grass is NOT always greener on the money side.
So did you think about it? How you handled things the last time they got super rough?
Here’s a partial list of what you might be doing now when things get rough:
- You get angry, you cry, you might yell
- You lash out at others: your spouse your kids, your pets… your clients (?!)
- You harbour resentment and disappointment which bubbles up into your life in unproductive ways
- You walk away, not just for a break from things, but you give up, you say enough is enough and you walk.
- You blame yourself and shame yourself, and you don’t let it go, it’s always there and you remind yourself that you’re not good enough, smart enough, worthy enough until you believe it (and others do too)
One of my friends posted this image online a few days back. I thought it was perfect and I shared it with a few friends who all responded with “OMG! I feel like this more than I’d like to admit!” or “How did you know?”. I know because we inevitably all have those days.
I’ve had a few of them, and like anyone else when you’re in the thick of it, it’s hard to think shit will get better. I’m an idealist and I get super excited if I see something I really want and I get ultra disappointed when that thing I wanted is out of my reach, or beyond my abilities.
What makes us entrepreneurs different than a lot of others out there, is when we have a bad bad (omg bad) day, we work our way through it. Somehow, we get our shit together, we wipe our noses and get back at it. Things will be ok ❤️.
Here’s the list of things that works for me, and sometimes I need more than one of them working together to help.
- Wine… lots of wine! I’m sort of kidding here, not condoning drowning your sorrows in alcohol, but a glass of wine feels like a treat to me because I rarely drink. It makes me feel better to have that treat so it helps my mood.
- Having a cry to let the tension out, but don’t wallow in it. (I can’t help it, I am a cryer, but once I get the tears out for a few minutes, I feel better and can think more clearly)
- Take a break – an hour, an afternoon… but do not walk away for good. If your bad day is associated with your business say to yourself – It was good enough to start, it’s good enough to keep going
- Get support. Get some love and affection from a friend, your significant other, your pet. You need some compassion right now. If you don’t have that support, there are Facebook groups, support forums like some on reddit where people are coping too.
- Forgive yourself or others so you can move on and deal with what needs fixing/addressed/worked on. Holding onto the past will not serve you or others. Forgive, don’t forget, learn and grow from it
- Be compassionate to yourself and others. Lashing out and being mad at yourself and taking it out on those around you will absolutely cause more pain, upset and issues. It takes a lot of self control to be compassionate when life knocks you about. But trust me, it helps to get things back on track that much quicker if you are.
- Don’t fool yourself into thinking it will never happen again (the tough times that is) they will, but you’re better equipped now to deal with it.
- Get back at it and use what you learned to fix/improve and excel.
What’s important is that you figure out what works for you to get refocused, balanced and able to push forward.
What’s your coping strategies? How do you deal with the tough times? Would love to hear from you!
I hope this helps in some way when those tough times come.
Listen to my wise grandfather, who used to say “this too shall pass”